Easy Meat

Sometimes you can fuck a person every day of the week and never know a thing about them. Other times, you can know everything about a person except what they’re like when they’re getting off.
There’s a reason for this.
If we knew what our best friends were like behind the bedroom door, we wouldn’t be best friends with them anymore, or in the first place.

Fact is, one never knows a person inside and out until they’ve seen how that person’s insides pop out while their outsides are going in. But how can you possibly know you don’t know the person you think you know?
You can’t.
It’s that one little thing that you’ll never know. And it’s most likely for the better. As a case in point, let’s take Mahdakis and Tony; if either one had any inclination of what the other was up to when his pants were off, neither one would have an ounce of respect for the other…..and with damn good reason.


He was on his bed, sitting up right with a pillow between his back and the wall. Nicki subserviently, held a joint to his mouth while he inhaled a hit and blew it back out in her face.
“Asshole,” she said playfully. Then she took a hit off the joint herself and as she held it in said, “You wanna fuck before we go to this party, or what?”
“Sure. Why not? You wanna know what I was thinking though?”
“What were you thinking?” she said snuggling close to Tony Ravioli.
“I was thinking of tying you up.”
“Ha-ha…. alright, I’m into that.”
“And spraying white stuff all over your body.”
“I’m into that, too!”
“Fine. Get naked, I’ll be right back.”
As Nicki undressed, Tony made his way downstairs towards the kitchen. When he returned to the bedroom, Nicki lay completely naked on his bed, her chunky body pouring off the sides like pancake batter. Noticing the tray of food in his hand she said, “What are you going to do, eat while you fuck me?”
“Something like that. I got the munchies.”
“Well, I got something you can munch on. You don’t need all that.”
“Fine. Let’s tie your ass up to the bed rails first though.”
Nicki smiled and obliged him. She held her arms up in the air without resistance while he tied bandanas around her wrists and then the other end of the bandanas to either bedpost.
“Oooh, am I supposed to start screaming for help now? Help. Help me,” she laughed.
“Quiet you!”
“Easy! Not so tight. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
“There,” he said triumphantly, “now we’re ready to munch on some meat,” he smirked as he got up and turned around to the plate of food he brought up and, with his back facing her said, “What about you? You hungry? Want some meat?”
Not sure what he had in mind, but willing to play along, she said, “Sure lay some meat on me, big boy.”
“I like mayonnaise with mine. You?”
“I like anything white and sticky,” she said, giggling nervously.
“Good,” Tony said, and quickly turned around and began hurling spoonfuls of mayonnaise at her naked torso. “Then you’ll love this, cunt! Ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!”
“Hey, what the fuck are you doing? Cut the shit!!”
Tony threw mayonnaise at her for a minute or so as she struggled to get free from the tight bandanas, her legs flailing in the air. “What the hell’s the matter with you? Have you lost your fuckin’ mind? Get me out of here, Tony! Now!”
“Fuck that! I wanna eat……NOW!” with that, Tony then jumped on top of her and began spreading the mayonnaise on her body with his bare hands, as if he were greasing a watermelon.
“What the….Man, you’re into some bizarre shit, motherfucker,” Nicki said, as she watched him lather her up with Hellman’s. “I hope you plan to lick it all off, now.”
“I’m gonna eat it!”
“Even better, let’s just get this ritual of yours over with. My God, this is some wacked out crap.”
Tony walked across the room and picked up the tray, which had an assortment of cold cuts on it.
“What the hell?” she yelled.
“It’s meat! Here! Have some fucking meat, bitch!” and then began whipping slices of salami, bologna, and ham at her mayonnaise-lathered body.
“Holy shit, man! What the fuck is the matter with you?!! Get me out of here! Help!”
“You said to lay it on you! Well, I’m laying it on you now, cunt!” Tony kept throwing the meat at her, which of course would stick to the mayonnaise if it landed flat enough. Some of it adhering to gravity and peeling itself off her body after a few seconds, but there was so much being thrown at her, that she was covered after only a minute.
She continued yelling, screaming, and tugging at the bandanas, but to no avail. “Anthony, this isn’t funny, or erotic! I’m afraid! Please stop!!”
“I’m afraid too,” he said, standing over by the food tray again; and lifting up his arm, he resumed to his throwing. “I’m afraid I forgot the cheese!!! HA-HA!” But the cheese wasn’t sticking so well because of the fact that her body was already covered with meat product. He needed more adherent. “Here! You need some of this!” he said, running up to her and viciously spraying her entire body with mustard.
“Stop! You fuckin’ dick! Stop!!”
“Ya like Gulden’s? Mmm. I do! It’s spicy! Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“Fuckin’ asshole! You’re getting it in my hair! Stop! Stop it, Anthony!! Please!”
After running out of meat and dairy products, he jumped on top of the bed so his knees held her ankles down.”
“Ow! That hurts!”
“Where is this coming from? What the hell did I do?……Shit….. what the fuck?”
Tony had pulled it out of his pants and was proceeding to masturbate on top of her. “Here! This is some of the chef’s special sauce! It makes the entire meal! You’ll love it!”
While very afraid and disturbed by his entire display of madness, Nicki still couldn’t help but let out some hysterical laughter.
“Ah, so you think it’s funny, huh bitch? How funny is this?” and then he ejaculated on the only clean area of her body…….her face. “There!……….Now I’m done.”
“Thank God,” she said, lapping it away from her lips. “And what’s the matter, you too fuckin’ lazy to cut up a little lettuce and tomato?”


© 2012 Mark Rogers

Crimes Seen Front Cover

 Crimes Seen

(Book II)


Click here for more inane drivel and lascivious behavior – brought to you exclusively by The B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. Chronicles™



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