“Yo dude, check it out.” Nigel turned the dome light on in the car, pulled a picture of out of his pocket, and handed it to Mahdakis. It was a photo of a big-titted sperm dumpster with nothing on but a pair of panties, her hands placed strategically over her bare breasts “This bitch is hot, huh?”
“Mm.” Mahdakis shook his head unimpressed. “Yeah, man a real piece of ass, dude.”
“Dude, she’s fuckin gorgeous! I fucked her last weekend. I took that picture!” Nigel was lying about taking the picture. “You can get chicks like this too!”
“Watch the road, will ya?”
“Got it.” Nigel grabbed the steering wheel with both hands again.
“I have a girlfriend.”
“C’mon, let’s get real for a moment. That thing? Back there? Nicki? That’s what you like?” Nigel shook his head in confusion. “You can do better you know.”
“So you’re a chubby-chaser, huh? What’s up with that, anyway?” Nigel made a left-hand turn without signaling and cut off an unsuspecting car that blared its horn.
“She isn’t fat!”
“She is. She’s humongous, dude.”
“Her tits are humongous; it’s an illusion….sort of.”
“No sort ofs about it, you’re doin’ a……..dude you got ketchup all over your mouth.”
“But I didn’t eat anything…oh shit!” Mahdakis grabbed hold of the rearview mirror and studied the red substance that was all over his chin and inside his mouth. “Ahh, sick man.” He opened the window and started spitting profusely.
“What’s the matter dude? Are you alright?”
“It’s blood man, it’s blood, not ketchup!”
“Where are you bleeding from? Are you gonna be alright?”
“It’s not my blood, man. It was on Nicki’s face.”
“Ah, sick!” Nigel also started spitting profusely out the window for some reason. “What happened to her?”
“Nothing. She was just fine. I think she got it somewhere else.” Mahdakis continued his spitting and wiping off his face with the bottom of his T-shirt.
“It’s someone else’s blood?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“On her face?”
“I’m almost positive.”
“Positive? Positive for AIDS is what you’re going to be if you keep hanging around these people.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
“Fuckin aye. See what I mean? You need to date nice hot chicks like this, in the picture. I guarantee she wouldn’t be seen out in public with aids-infected bloodstains all over her face.”
“Maybe not on her face.”
“Dude….whatever….the point is, you’re hangin’ with a demented crowd and stickin’ it to a fat chick who’s destined for AIDS. You wear a condom at least, I hope.”
“Nah man, I hate those things.”
“YOU’RE GONNA DIE!”
Original Artwork: Fabian Corona
© 2016 Mark Rogers